You remember the theme tune. You know who the big red good-guy one is. At least one boy in your class at school had an enormous one. Go on admit it, you're reading this full of 80's nostalgia and thinking 'yeah that new movie trailer does look awesome' and making 'krrr-krrr-chh-chhht' noises with someone looking at you like you've just arrived from a small metallic world from light years away!
Yeah, thought so. You see deep down, everyone's a Transformers fan.
PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOBOTS
Transformers should have been an 80's flash in the pan like Rubick Cubes, Spandau Ballet and very bad hairstyles. But somehow toy cars, planes and even dinosaurs made their way from Japan (Or Cybertron orbiting Alpha Centauri, depending on which mythology you subscribe to) via Hasbro Toys in Pawtucket, Rhode Island to the hearts of millions where they've stayed for over twenty years now. Mullets, Mohawks and Martin Kemp have been and (almost) gone but the Autobots and Decepticons are forever.
Boy's toys are all well and good, but the robots in disguise have something more than die-cast metal and moulded plastic in their armoury. In the 1980's Transformers had their own comic book and animated series to augment the toy line, a first pioneered by Hasbro way before the days of Teenage Mutant Turtles and Pokémon. This 'triple-play' is what really got kids hooked; they could flick through Marvel Comics series and read of cunning and ruthless Megatron's latest plan for 'galactic domination'. Afterwards, switch on Saturday Morning TV and watch the Autobots thwart the Decepticons once more before retiring to the toy box to re-enact the moment where Optimus Prime, striving for peace truth and justice the Cybertronian way, explosively transforms from a truck to a giant robot and twisting through the air, laser rifles half a dozen Decepticons to the ground. Bringing back memories eh? Let's access the data archive.
GENERATION ONE - "TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!"
Like the warring robots it features, Transformers animation has taken many forms over the last twenty years. The most recognisable and memorable version is referred to by fans using the retronym 'Generation One'. It's the version even your mum would recognise because you wouldn't eat your breakfast and get ready for school until you'd watched the end of the latest episode!
Pilot episode 'More Than Meets The Eye' introduces such Transformers staples as metal homeworld Cybertron and the factions' respective iconic leaders. Optimus Prime and a crew of Autobots leave Cybertron in their giant space cruiser in search of new sources of power and Megatron and his band of nefarious mechanoids are not about to let their foes gain an advantage in the bitter civil war. A battle in orbit of a small planet ensues and damaged in the fighting, the autobot's giant vessel hurtles towards the planet's surface and crashes in to the side of a volcano rendering all aboard inert; four million years later the ships onboard computer repairs and re-formats the occupants with disguises suitable for this time and place. The time is now and the place is Earth! The Autobot versus Decepticon battle begins anew...
Throughout the first two season's sixty-five episodes, many memorable (and some not so memorable) characters were introduced. This was necessary in a cartoon that, it has to be remembered, was more than partly designed to shift toys off the shelves and in to kid's bedrooms; great voice over work from some incredible performers helped give the robots in disguise something more though. The characterisations established in this first season are most likely at the heart of why The Transformers popularity endures to this day.
Peter Cullen voices Optimus Prime and with a deep resonating timbre, he not only commands his Autobot troops but the hearts and minds of thousands of fans around the globe. Prime exudes authority and wisdom; you get the feeling he has seen and done a fair bit in his however-many-million years! He is Transformers' John Wayne; standing up for what is right but still able to mix it with the bad guys when the time comes - though for my money a laser rifle and transforming in to a Freightliner Cab-over-Engine dual axle Semi Truck beats a six shooter and an old nag any day!
Frank Welker's snarling malevolence and maniacal cackling brought life to Prime's opposite number, the Evil Decepticon leader Megatron. You shouldn't want the bad guy to win, but Megatron is a piece of nasty that you can have a grudging respect for! With his arm mounted fusion cannon and equally hard hitting arsenal of one-liners, he was evil par excellence. Frank Welker is the king of cartoon voices and Megatron is his prize creation; let's face it, no other character he voiced transformed in to the most bad-ass gun this side of Iacon! Although another of his characters did transform in to something slightly less useful.
Soundwave often had the honour of being deployed by the Decepticon army in his awesome... erm, cassette recorder mode. Yes kids, a cassette recorder - it's what we played music on before iPods! Mind you, the Decepticon Cassettes under Soundwave's command were a little more lethal then a mix tape! Laserbeak, a robotic condor, could spy on the Autobots from above. Rumble was the punk-con with pile-driver arms that could start mini-earthquakes and the sleek and stealthy Ravage was one bad Decepti-kitty. Despite being a few years behind the times in terms of their 'alt modes', Soundwave and his cronies are still firm fan favourites - just a step or two down in the popularity stakes from Megatron's other devious lieutenant.
Starscream was hammed up in superb style by comedian and voice artist Chris Latta. When he wasn't dive-bombing Autobots in his F15 Jet mode, he was plotting and scheming behind Megatron's back, always looking for a way to usurp his leader and take control of the Decepticon army for his own ends. You wonder why Megatron didn't just put the screeching, power obsessed lunatic out of his misery at his earliest convenience; like Blofeld with James Bond, it was bound to cost him in the long run wasn't it? Ah, now that's a story and one that was resolved in...
TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE - "BEYOND YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATION!"
Picture the scene at Hasbro H.Q. "Guys, the Transformers series is going great! We've all these new Transformers we want to get out on the toy shelves. Let's give them a movie with lots of new characters who take over from the old guard and give everyone some new heroes to root for and villains to despise!"
Yeah. Didn't quite work out that way. The Transformers Movie (1986) was quite the watershed in children's animation. We're talking death and violence of apocalyptic proportions here; but because these weren't 'real people' and just toy robots, that was okay, wasn't it? Well no, because in a move both spectacularly stupid and in retrospect, brilliantly character defining, the movie writers killed the greatest Autobot of them all, Optimus Prime. In the year 2006 (the fantastic and far off future, as it was back then!) the Decepticons carry out an all-out assault on Autobot City: Earth, our heroes' main energy production facility and last line of defence. Just as all looks lost for the Autobots with hordes of familiar characters being blasted to bits and left by the wayside, Optimus Prime swoops in to save the day and lays waste to half the Decepticon forces in the space of fifteen seconds before an epic 'one-on-one' encounter with Megatron. The confrontation proved fatal; Prime's death bed scene induced floods of tears in young cinema go-ers and legend now has it one traumatised fan locked himself in his bedroom for a fortnight following the traumatic moment of Prime's passing!
The movie didn't do great box-office, but it's become something of a DVD Cult Classic featuring voice over artists of some notoriety. Robert Stack (The Untouchables' Eliot Ness) voiced the new Autobot leader Ultra Magnus. Eric Idle (Monty Python) provided the anarchic chatter of the Junkion Wreck-Gar. Star Trek's Leonard Nimoy took off Spock's pointy ears and equipped himself with a particle accelerator cannon and a bad attitude as Galvatron, who was created from Megatron's remains by the humongous planet crunching Unicron, played by the equally humongous Orson Welles who died literally days after completing his recording. 80's 'Brat Pack' star Judd Nelson (The Breakfast Club) was the hero of the piece, initially as the young Autobot Hot-Rod, and at feature's end as the Autobot's Chosen One and new leader, Rodimus Prime.
And that story I mentioned - what happened with regard to Starscream and Megatron and their constant in-fighting? It's one of the best bits of the film. Here's a hint - "KA-BLOOOOM!"
LEAVING THE TOYS ON THE SHELF"
In the wake of the events of Transformers: The Movie, the animated series underwent a transformation itself; like a large proportion of fans, it 'grew up'. Kicking off with an epic five part episode, 'The Five Faces of Darkness' focused on the relationship between the Transformers and the villainous Quintessons, who made their first appearance in the movie. Shocking revelations abound and we begin our first real foray into Transformers history and mythology, before now only really glimpsed in the Season 2 episode 'War Dawn', which tells the origins of Optimus Prime. A much smaller core cast was established; Rodimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Springer, Arcee, Kup, Grimlock & Perceptor for the Autobots, Galvatron and his henchmen Cyclonus & Scourge for the Decepticons, with the Quintessons popping up regularly throughout the thirty episode run, bringing an interesting dynamic - where before it was simply good versus evil, we now had good versus evil versus morally dubious and vicious.
This change in the series tone made for some effectual story telling, but was perhaps the series downfall too. While great to watch back on DVD now as a fan, due to a lower number of 'character of the week' episodes, it was less of a toy commercial and so received less support from Hasbro. Some episodes animation quality suffered horrendously - 'Five Faces' is strewn with continuity errors and 'Carnage in C Minor' is best watched as a drinking game; take a swig for every mistake you spot and well, you won't go thirsty! Thankfully, a number of episodes are of a much higher quality all round; 'Call of the Primitives' has some of the best animation seen in 80's Transformers, 'The Burden Hardest to Bare' is a great coming of age story, and Optimus Prime returns to cheer up fans everywhere, although his first return gave a lot of us nightmares! 'Dark Awakening' is a harrowing episode where the most beloved Autobot becomes a vicious tool of the Quintessons, seeking revenge against the Autobots. A bit of continuity-contortionism tacked on to the front of the two part season finale 'The Return of Optimus Prime' helps make sure that all's well that ends well. And end it did. Sort of.